I am having one of those days. A Bad Mummy day. The babies aren’t listening to a word I say, they just seem to leave destruction in their path hence my patience is running very very thin.
It’s one of those days where all I feel like I have done is shout. I hate shouting but I’m just feeling so frustrated over everything. I can feel that gnawing feeling in my tummy. The babies do something, I react then instantly I feel guilty. It’s not their fault that I’m having a bad day.
I read so much from others blogs about respectful parenting, about showing your children how to regulate their emotions etc etc. How do these women do it? My babies are my world but some days I am literally tearing my hair out. Oh to be one of those Mummy’s. I wish I knew their secret.
I know all the blurb about if I’m calm, the children are calm. If I speak softly the children won’t shout. But some days it just doesn’t work. Some days I can’t keep calm. Other days I can’t speak softly. I wish with all my heart that I wasn’t this person. But unfortunately I am only human.
We’ve been out today too. A nice walk around a local park. It was nice while its was happening. The babies explored, we enjoyed a bit of fresh air and sunshine, we had an ice cream. But we got home and the day continued as before.
So tonight I have gone in to each of them, as I always do before I go to bed. As I look at each of my babies they look angelic and peaceful. And bang, I’m a mess. Guilt that I have made our day bad. More guilt that I have told them off. And then the ultimate guilt that in a few days time they will be back to school. The holidays will be over and our holiday bubble popped.
I will try harder tomorrow. I want to be one of those blogging Mummy’s that have the special magic. My dream is to be that Mummy for my babies.
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