Sadness and smiles

Today I attended the funeral of my Great Uncle. He was my wonderful Nan’s younger brother by 14 years and my Great Aunts twin. They now are the only surviving two of six children. Very sadly one of their other brothers only died 3 months ago. So today brought back many emotions which are still so very raw.

It has been a very sad day. Heartbreaking to see my Nan unable to cry and just as hard seeing my Great Aunt say goodbye to her twin. How can anyone understand that connection when they aren’t a twin themselves? But my amazing, wonderful family always come together in strength, spanning over 4 generations. We are so lucky to have this family connection as I know many people these days are unfortunate not to.

My mum too has been amazing. Her support for my Nan and Great Aunt is beyond words. With the help of her cousins she has organised every aspect of the funeral today on behalf of my dear Nan and Great Aunt. Her love and support goes above and beyond expectations.

I stood in the church today and just wanted to see my babies. As I looked up at the beautiful beams in the church, the church which I was married in, my children christened, myself christened and felt a knot in my stomach. My heart aching for my special Nan and surrounding family. My heart wanting my children, my arms wanting to wrap them up and keep them safe from the world. Wanting my husband to protect us all.

My Great Uncle was very lucky to have a happy life, surrounded by a loving and supportive family. But seeing the heartache a death in our close family causes it wants me to wrap my beautiful children and husband up and have them never leave my side.

It always amazes me that out of sadness there is a time when laughter and smiles will eventually shine through. We sat at my Nan’s this evening talking about old times, previous generations before us and where they are in our family tree. It made me smile talking about all these people, who I never knew, but who made our family what it is today. I also felt a warming in my heart after a very sad day hearing the people I love laughing again.

We must treasure our family, look after them and never forgot a random hug or an I love you. It’s those little things that mean the most.

 

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